My co-workers and I did the 2009 Heart Walk at the RBC center. What a gorgeous day!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Still haven't budged
In my defense for the month of August, I had just started my new job and in addition to my 12 hour shifts, I also had classes that I had to attend. Right...so now it's september (ok mid-september) and I still have neither the motivation nor the will power to keep going. I have been sooo busy. Last week I worked 3 12 hour shifts in a row...not only does it exhaust you for those three days...but the days after is just like "ahhh I don't have a DAMN thing to do" and exercising is the LAST thing on my mind. While secondarily, this is about losing weight...it's also about the fact that I can't run 5 minutes without losing my breath. I want to be able to run. I had just gotten to the point where I had started enjoying it a little bit...it felt sort of triumphant with each minute I could tack on from the last week. All it took was that little failure and I lost it. I lost the drive and the power. I had control and I lost that too.
Being such a control freak, you'd think I'd be good at this. But I guess having to let other areas in my life go, I kind of let this go too...without really meaning to. Some areas that I've let go were definitely for the better, but this was one thing that was actually benefitting me and I don't know how it got smushed with the other stuff. It's weird because I'm actually putting myself first in other ways, besides the way that will actually personally and physically reallly benefit me. So technically, I'm still putting myself last.
It's funny how little things, like getting a haircut, is how I "put myself first". I haven't had a haircut in THREE months...I guess it's the little things though. I've also picked up two of my favorite hobbies again...photography and playing the violin. That stuff (including getting a haircut) makes me FEEL good. But it's temporary. I'm not always going to have a camera in my hand and a haircut can only last so long. But taking care of my body is for me and only me and it goes a long way. I guess I'm just tackling right now what I can handle.
I have signed up for the Heart Walk on September 27th (joined a team at work). A walk I can handle! lol...5K...maybe my goals were just a little too high in too short amount of time. I'm still going to go...but I might end up jogging/walking it and possibly alone since the other girls have progressed way far ahead of me. I'll probably drag Alan with me just so I have someone to talk to.
Being such a control freak, you'd think I'd be good at this. But I guess having to let other areas in my life go, I kind of let this go too...without really meaning to. Some areas that I've let go were definitely for the better, but this was one thing that was actually benefitting me and I don't know how it got smushed with the other stuff. It's weird because I'm actually putting myself first in other ways, besides the way that will actually personally and physically reallly benefit me. So technically, I'm still putting myself last.
It's funny how little things, like getting a haircut, is how I "put myself first". I haven't had a haircut in THREE months...I guess it's the little things though. I've also picked up two of my favorite hobbies again...photography and playing the violin. That stuff (including getting a haircut) makes me FEEL good. But it's temporary. I'm not always going to have a camera in my hand and a haircut can only last so long. But taking care of my body is for me and only me and it goes a long way. I guess I'm just tackling right now what I can handle.
I have signed up for the Heart Walk on September 27th (joined a team at work). A walk I can handle! lol...5K...maybe my goals were just a little too high in too short amount of time. I'm still going to go...but I might end up jogging/walking it and possibly alone since the other girls have progressed way far ahead of me. I'll probably drag Alan with me just so I have someone to talk to.
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